Remember those crazy 80’s? I somewhat do, after I retired in Jan. 86, I took a year off from the world, grew my hair long and went every day to the beach, since I still lived on the Island of Puerto Rico. I had a little red wagon I got at a toy store and installed oversized wheels, a cooler, and a boom box, and took it to the beach every day. Then I would head up to happy hour at my local watering hole to cap off a fine day. On the way one day, I helped out an elderly lady by buying the last of her lotto tickets. I hit it for $25,000.00 tax free and knew that I must own my own bar. (This is a lead in for the real story)

Bar equipment? I’m told it’s in San Juan, and off I go with the proper address. When I retired I had two cars, a Lincoln Town Car, and a 240Z, taking the Lincoln so I can carry all my treasures back to beautiful Luquillo Beach. At ten in the morning I was heading to the address in Old San Juan, forgetting it was built in the 14th and 15th century and then remembering how large a Lincoln Town Car was!

I’m committed, no way to turn around, so I plow forward. Up the one way  street and I must make a left turn, alas it can’t be done as everybody has parked their tiny cars on the corner that I needed to turn. Throw my Lee Helm to full stop, I sit and wait. Behind me on this one way street (cars parked on both sides and only one lane) they are backed by the numbers 15-20 cars.

  Now comes the police, and tell me to move the car, “gringo” (a term of endearment), pray tell how? If the police had been doing their job all day, the road would be clear, don’t cha’ think? Off they went to comb the tourist bars and find the owners of the offending cars.

While standing on the street talking to the people stuck behind me, I notice a tourist bar, with everybody in the door way, asking if I would like a drink. I can’t remember the last time I ever said no to a question like that. So off I went! All the drinks had little umbrellas in them, and did taste good. The party started, two hours later the road was clear, and now the police had to find the owners of the backed up cars, me included.

One tourist asked me which cruise ship I was on, I told them MV Land Cruiser, the car that blocked Old San Juan! Now to sum it up, the police asked me never to bring that car into that part of town again, I never did find the Bar Supply Store, I parked at a mall in San Juan and took a taxi back to the bar. I then led 12 drunken tourists on a tour of night life in Old San Juan, only lost three.

After seven years of Island driving, the Philippines seemed natural to me! Back to the Philippines next month and why we choose to live here!